November was an interesting month for me. As it kicked off, friends on social media launched their versions of having a month of thankfulness and encouraged other to join in. We live in a first world, so one would think this would be easy to do and be quite fulfilling. So I ask, did this activity cross your path? Did you participate? How many days of thankfulness did you have? or was this a challenge for you?
For me, honestly, much of the month was a real struggle. I was recovering from major surgery October and thoughts of actual Thanksgiving, where family members I had not seen, spoken to for quite some time and/or didn’t have pleasant relationships with would be around and I would have to face them. By mid-month, I would need to return back to work and face thousands of emails, catch up on many things and complete year end reviews and such. This did not excite me and caused some anxiety.
In previous years for the holidays, I would plan dinner and activities for the family, but I just couldn’t really get into the spirit. So, I decided to let go. I don’t have to be … the planner, entertainer, good spirited, do everything all the time. I relaxed as much as possible during the two weeks before going back to work – I watched a lot of Netflix and Amazon. I tried to stick to shows that were funny or uplifting to help my spirit. I focused in on dinner prep for Thanksgiving with the larger family and then the smaller one, we would have with more immediate family. I planned no activities and was open to whatever happened organically – which was nothing and I was fine with that. I went back to work on a Thursday, I had meetings with my team members to get the latest and greatest and went through thousands of emails by end of day Friday – that was all I focused on in my first two days back. I was tired but fortunately had the weekend to revive. Thanksgiving day came and for dinner I put on a happy face said hello and didn’t force any interactions and left when I needed – no regrets.
I was able to work on renovating the backyard playhouse into my She Shed, which I will share with you in another post. My dad and I worked to paint and lay down new flooring. So, by now, you may be asking, how does all of this relate to Thankfulness? While, I didn’t really have the thankful mindset at the beginning or even throughout the month, looking back now, I can say the following:
I am Thankful for:
- My husband, that cared for me physically, emotionally and mentally pre- and post surgery. Really the things he does daily to care for me
- The love my children heap upon me, especially the littlest one, who is full of love
- My parents, that drove many hours to be help and share Thanksgiving with us, that work selflessly to help in anyway they can; we also celebrated his 80th birthday!
- My dad, for his energy and the connection we have when working on projects together
- My health and recovery
- Finding a space for my voice (Renewable-U)
- Recognizing and taking the steps to self manage through difficult situations without guilt – letting go, focusing on what I can, not trying to be all things and caring for myself where I was
In my Self Care post, I indicated that I working to find out what I need and the last point above is just the beginning for me. If you missed being thankful in November or didn’t feel like you had the spirit, that’s fine – take some time now, to reflect. It’s never too late.
Oh, I am also thankful for you!